[In which I get angry at stupid things.]

I have a problem: if a person needs to make a call that badly, I think they ought to pull over so they can concentrate on the person on the other end of that phone line, and leave the rest of us to try and drive as safely as we can. 

Let’s be honest, okay? They really aren’t paying as much attention as they should be to either activity. Those of us looking around at each other on the road are fearful that this person on their cell phone is eventually going to miss a major stoppage and not miss the rear end of our car! Meanwhile, having been on the other end of the call, I’m certain that there have been plenty of times when the person to whom the distracted driver is talking wishes they would just hang up and call back when they can focus on the conversation at hand. I’m quite sure that some of the details have been lost from time to time, so why not pull over, hash it out, and get it right?

But it seems that I’m in the minority once again on this question. Oh, sure, there are plenty of cars going by with those bumper stickers that say, “Don’t Talk–DRIVE!” These people on their phones, however, are clearly already oblivious to changes in the traffic pattern; what makes us think that they’re going to be any more aware of a bumper sticker flying by at 75 miles per hour? And really, how effective do we think those bumper-mounted words of wisdom would be, even if their target audience saw them? I don’t think anyone has had a particularly nicer day due to the well-wishing of the ubiquitous Smiley Face, have they? If anything, I think I’ve heard people get more angry when seeing that bright yellow and impossibly-round face than anything resembling happiness. And that sentiment has been around since the ‘70s. [I know; I lived them. And trust me, the clothing wasn’t all that great, no matter what the retro fad suggests. But I digress.]

Europeans have apparently, in some areas, at least, made it unlawful to engage in cell phone use while driving. Why not here? Are we so anti-French now that we aren’t able to recognize an idea whose time has come, merely because they had de Gaulle to stand up and tell us what they thought? Can anyone anywhere think of any reason why this shouldn’t be a law? I’m sure someone does–someone always does–but I find it hard to believe that there is anything that justifies preventing such a law from being legislated. Well, okay, maybe the drug-dealers would be a little ticked off, but think of it: we could solve another one of our problems with this. Anyone caught using a cell phone while driving could be prosecuted as a dealer in illegal narcotics, and thrown in the slammer for several years. I guarantee they would think twice about endangering the rest of us by utilizing a cellular device in the future while behind the wheel.

Perhaps that last was somewhat ridiculous.

You’re right, it was downright foolish. But I am mad as heck about this! Some woman was stopped at a particularly dangerous intersection the other day, and she waited for a while; it seemed like too long of a while, but who am I to complain when people are actually driving safely? If it keeps her from endangering herself or those around her, more power to her. Take your time, honey, we all want to get home safely. When she finally made her turn, I saw the Instrument of Immediate Death glued to her ear, and my disgust was palpable. Was she nuts? Yes, in a way she was. To try and make a turn at what is generally considered a fairly-dangerous intersection while placing a call borders on madness, as far as I’m concerned.

But at least she wasn’t zooming along the freeway at 75, as I’ve seen some do. They don’t make lane-changes so much as they slalom along the road. In some ways, it’s quite beautiful. Until you consider that they could impact with a solid, stationary–worse yet, oncoming–object at that speed. And then what’s going to happen?

You guessed it: traffic is going to slow down, damn it. 

And don’t even get me started on texting.